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I remember a friend telling me when I first found out I was pregnant, to always remember that I’m not alone and not to doubt myself. At that time I didn’t really understand what she meant. Now, at the end of my pregnancy I’m starting to piece it all together.
What people don’t tell you about pregnancy is a whole list of things, both good and bad, both amazing and hard, and all to make you a stronger Mother. So here’s the main things I’ve learned that people didn’t tell me about,
Opinions, everyone has one. Whether it’s about diapers, strollers, doctors, healthcare, what you eat, the list goes on and on. Most know that’s pretty common after baby gets here, but it’ll come the second people find out you’re pregnant. Remember how my great friend gave me the advice of not doubting myself? This is where that comes into play. Sometimes I get really helpful advice, that is a great! But other times I disagree, so I listen and move on. What you need to realize is, you know what’s best for you, your baby and your situation–don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. This doesn’t mean don’t take advice or listen to opinions–don’t be rude. Listen, be nice and say thank you. But take it with a grain of salt, and realize you don’t have to do it just because someone told you to. Overall, the decision is yours. Sometimes it’s frustrating to constantly hear opinions but, opinions can be a good thing however. Especially for us newbies. I constantly ask for advice from friends, family and all of you because I want it! I think that’s the exception, when you ask for it. Maybe that’s just a crazy hormonal pregnant lady talking, but I would say when you ask for opinions you can’t get upset if someone gives them. You shouldn’t get upset either way, don’t let little things like that affect you. But know that it’s happens and be prepared, because even when you don’t ask they’ll come. So when you’re at the store and a random lady tells you that Pamper wipes are better to use on your baby than the ones you’re buying, smile, take it lightly and move on. Remember you know what’s best and trust in yourself.
Worry, maybe this one is just me. But my anxiety has literally almost tripled since I found out I was pregnant. I worry about everything. Will I be good enough? Will I be able to provide for her? Will she love me? Etc. Etc. Etc. I feel like these questions and concerns are fairly common after talking to other pregnant friends. This is especially coming when you’re pregnant with your first. Don’t stress yourself out too much, it’s not good for the baby for one. And two, I’m coming to realize there’s no point. Worrying gets you absolutely nowhere. So wondering if you’re going to be able to nurse, handle being a Mom or whatever worry is in your mind is just silly. We were built to do this, this whole thing called Motherhood. It will come naturally. We will probably all mess up, cry, stress and worry more, but isn’t that the joy of it? And really all that matters are those little snuggles and a happy healthy baby! So put on some relaxing music, say a prayer or get your yoga on because you’re most likely going to worry and stress at some point.
Love, prepare to feel love for someone more than you ever thought imaginable. For your significant other as he cares for you on those sick nights, rubs your feet after a long day, and touches your belly to feel your sweet baby kick. And love for that sweet child you’re carrying. You’ll do everything in your power to protect that belly of yours, make sure your unborn child is healthy and safe, and love and cherish all the moments you have with them before they get here. This love is like no other love, it’s nothing you’ve felt before and it’s only going to grow times one hundred once she is here and in your arms.
Emotions, I think everyone knows pregnant women are emotional. We all hear the jokes, she cried over this or that. But what I don’t think we realize is its happy and sad emotions and you literally can’t control it. Example, I saw the cutest little girl learning how to ride her bike in our neighborhood. I instantly burst into tears thinking about how I would get to experience that one day! I couldn’t stop crying, literally after five minutes I knew I was crying for the most ridiculous thing but I couldn’t stop. This totally goes the other way too. The husband won’t go buy me donuts–so I cry, give him the silent treatment and all while knowing I’m in the wrong and acting ridiculous, but here’s the catch, I don’t care. I want my donuts, end of story. So prep yourself ladies, things are about to get to a whole other level of cray. In a good and bad way of course π
Happy, a whole new level of happy. Seriously, from the moment you find out you’re pregnant, to the gender, to their first little kicks and flutters. Imagine what it’s going to be like when those littles actually make their appearance into the world. Seriously, being pregnant has brought me so much happiness, more than I even thought possible. There’s worries, stresses and the entire concept of the unknown but overall you feel excitement! Excitement to feel them move, to hold them one day and to be their Mom!
Patience, you’ll learn it real quick. If you’re anything like this Mama over here, you lack in this department. Maybe this is a good thing and God’s way of teaching you an important lesson before they actually get here. I imagine you only need it more so once they’re here. But seriously, patience for everything: doctors appointments, hearing a heartbeat, gender reveal, feeling them kick, baby shower, their actual arrival, the list goes on and on. So buckle up and enjoy the ride because it may seem like it’s going slow but before you know it you’ll be in your third trimester with a hospital bag packed!
Messy, that’s right you heard me. It’s not always a pretty thing. In fact somedays you’ll be surprised your body could even do what it just did. Peeing when you sneeze, there’s a prime example. This happened to me for the first time around week 21. You don’t pee a ton, but definitely enough to notice and well I noticed alright! All of the not so pretty changes and messy things that come are generally good things though. It means your body is prepping for that little babe of yours and doing exactly what it should be. At least that’s what my pregnancy app tells me anyways. Ha!
I’m in the home stretch now, just a few more weeks to go. These are the things I’ve noticed, the things I don’t feel like I truly expected. There are obviously tons of other experiences you will have. But overall I’ll leave you with this, pregnancy is hard somedays, especially at the beginning and the end for most women. But it’s beautiful, it’s special and it’s absolutely miraculous what our bodies can do. Plus the best part–we get to become Moms to these sweet little angels.
What did you learn when you were pregnant?! Share it with us in the comments below by clicking the add comment button at the top of this post!
Xoxo,
Jess
Danielle says
I’ve learned each pregnancy is different.
You don’t have to give birth how the doctor says – it’s your body and if you want to walk around before birth you should.
Breastfeeding is hard but rewarding. If you can’t make it work, pumping is an alternative.
If you are blue and sad more than three weeks after birth, you should get help.
Don’t be afraid to take people up on their offer to help – if they didn’t care, they wouldn’t offer. You need them because sometimes a shower makes you feel like a new woman!
Jess Oakes says
Love these, great thoughts! You’re awesome Mama π
Amy says
I never knew I would miss being pregnant. It’s such an amazing feeling. Obviously having her here is better but it truly is such a beautiful time in your life.
I knew pregnancy could cause you to swell but never so much. My sandals were leaving indentations in my feet!
Emotions…umm I cried when my husband put my rubber gloves on to do dishes and he ripped one in half.
Yes, breastfeeding is hard. You go to the classes and you wonder why wouldn’t everyone do this…it’s so good for your baby and for yourself but they don’t prepare you for the commitment. I had to pump but eventually went back to breastfeeding after two months. I ended up doing it for 16 months because it was my bonding time with her. BUT with that being said…there is nothing wrong with formula feeding.
Have enough newborn diapers! I did not. Who knew they went through 10 diapers at the beginning?! Ha not me.
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and alone time with your hubby!
Jess Oakes says
Ah I’m glad you pointed out the newborn diaper thing, we need to get more!! Thank you so much for your kind words π
Xo!
Honey Mendez says
I’ve learned many different things with each pregnancy. Having delievered my third and final child a baby girl on April 1st, you have to cherish every moment of growing a little human even when you feel like the nausea and heartburn will never end, the 9 months will be here and you’ll still feel like your not ready but never be hard on yourself. My OB/GYN once told me: ‘You may not be the perfect mom to others, but you are the perfect mom for your children and God gave them to you.’ As you can see I was having major anxiety about baby’s arrival, that I needed a little pep talk! π Never doubt yourself, stay positive, embrace each and every pregnancy the good and the bad even the tiger stripes if you got some!
Oh, intimacy w/hubby isn’t the same, but know that it’s only temporary, some days you’ll feel like a goddess & some days you’ll feel like a whale but baby is totally worth it!
Jess Oakes says
So true!! Great advice and your OB is spot on!! Thanks! π
Melanie says
This was pretty right on from what I’ve heard. At first I wasn’t getting the whole “opinions” thing from friends or strangers, I tend to surround myself with loving supportive people already. I realized, however, that when I started to present the idea of cloth diapering, my friends were curious and even had a few wanting more info, but my family’s thoughts went right to the “dark ages” of CD-ing. I had to actually prove it to them how far the ease of diapering has come to gain their approval. Why did I need to do that? So that when they were watching my son they could gladly help out, or buy disposables with they owwnnnn money. The main point is that I cared what they thought, but I didn’t let their opinions waver my plans.
Also, I’ve learned that with this second pregnancy, people stop giving those opinions, you already know what you’re doing (they don’t know you’re silently freaking out about sibling rivalry)! But I’m definitely like you, I will ask for those opinions regardless of the answer. Unless it’s then seemingly hurtful..(Excuse. Me. Sister. Telling me I should not have a little fun with gender reveal because it’s my second?! How ’bout yes. )
Like I said in the beginning, surround yourself with those that love you and they will only want/mean the best!
Jess Oakes says
You’re so right!! And this is spot on. Thanks Mama!! Love, support and happiness is what you should surround yourself with π
Xoxo!
Megan Swanek (@MrsSwanek) says
To enjoy the moment! And, to enjoy not running. In over 10 years, this is the longest I have gone without running. Before I was pregnant, I used to complain about my long runs. Now, I actually miss it!