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I was walking into church this past Sunday, overwhelmed, defeated, grumpy and struggling to balance it all. I felt lost, like I was losing at Motherhood, working, being a wife and especially trying to do it all. Literally my plate is so full, it’s always so full. I’m trying to work, plan these events, travel for work, be a wife, pay bills, take care of a house and all while being the best possible mom I can be. To say the struggle is real would be an understatement. I was so tired. I felt so defeated. I sat down, my Mom took Blake and I had tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t even handle just watching my babe during church for five minutes. I was so tired, so down and so lost.
What was I doing?
Why was I doing this?
I continued on through the meeting with tears in my eyes. A constant feeling of failure and the mindset to just about give up.
But I couldn’t give up. I didn’t have a choice. I had to go on.
Then this sweet Mom, with young children got up and spoke. It was like she was talking directly to me. Her entire talk was on balance. Trying to balance it all, making a list of priorities and taking it one day at a time.
Priorities, that’s what I needed! I forget about my priorities the minute I’m 47 unread emails deep and 4 deadlines behind. When my house is a disaster and my one year old won’t sleep–priorities go out the window. Instead I stress out, I focus on everything that’s wrong, neglect my mom duties, my wife duties and do everything else.
Isn’t that sad?
It’s sad that my priorities instantly go to everything else. Everything else besides what should be my number one priority. Obviously if something was terribly wrong, that would be different. BUT, my house needs to be clean before I can play with my baby. I need to get work things done first before I can be a wife.
If you’re judging me, that’s fine. I judged myself–but let’s all really take a look at our lives. I think we all probably struggle with keeping our priorities straight. Some more than others (*cough* myself *cough*), but we’re all doing our best.
So I listened intently to her talk, wrote down so many notes and made a game plan. She went through another talk (that I’m unsure of the name) which listed what our priorities should be. So I wrote them down and tweaked them a little to fit my life and my circumstances.
#1 – GOD. Without him none of this would be possible. I wouldn’t be able to get through the trials I face. I wouldn’t have my baby girl, my husband, my family or this beautiful life I live. It’s a hard life, but it shouldn’t be easy–those hardships are what make it worth it. God is my top priority and I should ALWAYS put him first.
#2 – MY FAMILY. Being a Mom, being a wife, a daughter, a sister — all of those come before any work, chores or wants. I tell myself Blake is growing up so fast, but do I actually realize it? Do I make time for US (our family) everyday? Obviously, there will be times when I have to work and do things that provide for my family and others, but being a Mom and a wife should always be at the top of my list. I can’t compromise my family for other things in my life, it’s not worth it. Also with number two I’m adding “MYSELF” because my health and well being needs to come before other things. Plus, I’ll let you in on a secret–you can’t do things to your full capacity if you don’t feel well yourself. 😉
#3 – SERVICE. Something that brings me so much joy and that I feel like is a huge importance in life. Helping others, giving back and making a difference. As hard as some days are, I DO have many blessings in my life and I should be giving back for just those! These don’t need to be GRAND gestures or big things. It’s not about how we serve and give back, it’s about where we do it and if we’re taking every opportunity we can.
#4 – WORK. It’s funny that this is bottom on my list because it’s such a big part of my life. In fact my life is literally my work. Now this doesn’t mean, don’t do it–I have to do it! I want to do it! BUT, I need to make sure I’m doing my other priorities first, then I can dive in and focus on work. Not to mention it will make this priority a LOT easier to do knowing that my other ones are complete.
Priorities are a work in progress y’all, balancing is a work in progress. One of the biggest questions I get asked is how I balance it all? And the honest answer is, I don’t. I’m figuring it out day by day and trying my absolute best. I’m not perfect, my priorities aren’t always straight, but I’m trying, I’m really trying.
My sweet baby girl is my biggest blessing, being her Mom is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I NEED to make time to play with her, to really focus on JUST her. It’s about priorities, it’s about scheduling things. There’s a time for work and a time for being a Mom. There’s a time for husband/wife time and there’s a time for chores. It’s just figuring out when that time is.
Accept the imperfections, don’t worry about the struggles and write your priorities down so that it’s always a reminder.
Just remember, you’re doing your best, I’m doing my best, we all are and that’s what matters. “Balance” isn’t about being perfect, it’s about accepting the imperfections and rolling with the punches.