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To the sad Mom, moping around the house, trying to figure out her purpose, the balance and what she’s supposed to be doing with her life, what’s going to bring her happiness.You’re not alone.
To the working Mom who is so badly trying to balance everything, but feels like they’re failing, you’re not alone.
To the stay at home mom, who feels like they can’t seem to keep the house clean, their hair brushed or their sanity, you’re not alone.
Normal though? What is normal? Is it the fact that we can barely keep our heads above water? That somehow no matter how hard we try we feel stuck in this rut of sadness most days. There’s little glimpses of happy though, when our babies snuggle up to us or when we accomplish something on that to-do list, when things start to look up for just a minute. Most days though are filled with sadness, with overwhelm and with anxiety. The days are long, filled with doubt and uncertainty. I see you, I see you walking around the house, quiet, holding back the tears and struggling to push forward. I see you praying for your purpose, trying to find the happiness that you so badly want, struggling with looking at the blessings you do have because you’re so overtaken with the hardships you’re facing. It may not seem big, but it is to you. That’s the thing about life trials, they might not look like a big deal to others, but they’re hard for us and if they weren’t they wouldn’t be trials, now would they? Don’t doubt your trials, don’t undermine what’s hard for you or sit there in self doubt, wondering why you’re being such a baby. Because here’s the thing, what you’re facing, what you’re going through — whether it’s trying to find your happiness, infertility, financial struggles, balance or everything in between — it’s hard, you have a right to be sad, to be frustrated.
I see the pain in your eyes, the forced smile of trying to put on the front of happiness. I see you guilting yourself, feeling bad for not being happy, feeling like you’re letting your child down. You’re not. You’re showing them strength, you’re being the absolute best Mom you could ever be. I see you getting into bed at night, wondering if you’re ever going to find answers, if anyone is even listening to you, falling asleep with either tears streaming down your face or this feeling of just hopelessness. Life isn’t always fair, life is hard. Sometimes it takes years to figure out what we’re supposed to be doing, years to get through a bump in the road. Here’s the thing though, nothing is forever. I see your glimpses of happiness, the joy your sweet baby brings to your face. Oh my gosh, these babies of ours, they might be challenging, but aren’t they just perfect? These child(ren) of ours, they get us through the feelings of sadness. They push us to want to do better, to keep going, to find answers. I see you walking over piles of laundry, stacking the dishes just a little bit higher and thinking, holy cow–my house is a disaster, but being too tired to do anything about it. I see the exhaustion, in fact that’s probably a huge part of why the sadness is so hard to kick most days. Don’t beat yourself up over it, a dirty house, dirty clothes, they can wait, focus on you, better you. I see your cries of help, your lashes of anger at those closest to you because you’re just so frustrated, you’re at your wits’ end. That’s okay, you’re allowed to get upset. Those closest to you will hold you tighter, even when you’re angry and they’re the ones that will push you through this. I see you feeling lonely, defeated, like no one understands you, like something is wrong with you because you feel this way so often. You’re not alone. Nothing is wrong with you and I, I understand you. In fact, most of us Moms understand you.
It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to wonder what your purpose is, to try and figure out what you’re supposed to be doing, if you’re doing enough, if you are enough. You just have to bring yourself back down. You are enough, you’re doing enough and things are hard right now, if they’ve been hard for what feels like forever, it’s not going to be forever. One day you’re going to look back at this time and think, I made it! Nothing is forever, but it’s about finding the happiness now. It’s about turning those wonders, those worries into being better. It’s about taking YOU time, taking a nap, finding time to clean the house later and being a Mom. It’s about finding the things that make you happy and running with them, holding onto them, especially during the hard parts of life. It’s about having faith, asking for help when you need it and not being ashamed about what you’re going through.
It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to have hard days, it’s okay to have hard years. Remember though, “you’re doing better than you think you are“. Ask for help if you need help, hold on tight and remember, you’re not alone.
Thank you…I struggle and my kids see it when it gets bad but I am trying…trying my all to keep it all together. My husband is gone a lot and on days when he is home there are other things that need done…I take one day at a time and remember crying is ok.
Wow thank you!
Some days are tougher than others
For no reason. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
This hit home for me in so many ways! I almost felt like you wrote it for me ? But it was a relief and I cried tears of relief knowing I’m not alone and that life is hard and we are all struggling some days. Thanks so much for this ! I need to go back and read it often .?
Thank you Jess! I texted my husband the other day saying some of these very things & he of course says the right things but he still doesn’t get it so it is nice to know that there are other moms out there who feel this way! Thank you!!!
Jess Oakes says
Absolutely! Thank you :))))
I just cried through this whole thing! Thanks for sharing! The stage I’m in right now has never been tougher, but I know things will change in a few years and I pray it gets easier! 🙂
Hi, thanks for the encouragement…My Boyfriend doesn’t help me out at all…It’s really hard being a “single” parent in a home where there are two parents….
Dana Reed says
Thanks for this. Honestly I didn’t want to stop reading because it’s like my thoughts and feelings were finally being put in to words that make sense. It made me cry to have a moment of not feeling so lonely. My first happy tears since my son was born over a year ago and it felt good. My husband is my only friend and he’s not the kind of friend you cry on more like the friend you get in trouble with.
Meire Beserra says
Just thank you!
Thank you for writing that. I will be back to read it again. I have been going through a very hard time and feel so sad and alone. It’s terrible to feel this way. I’m sorry that there are others out there that feel this way too. Wishing everyone strength and happiness.