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I was sitting on the couch the other day, watching Blake play barbies and the thought came to me, holy cow this is not what I imagined for my life. I mean, it’s literally night and day difference than what I would have ever guessed 10-15 years ago. Then the next thought popped into my head, but I would never change it, it’s my perfect.
I remember in high school making a “vision board” – you know on the big white poster, where you would cut magazines up, print things off the internet and then glue them all on this “vision board” of what you hoped your life would be. I had a Lexus on mine, fancy clothes, a big house, a smoking’ hot model husband and all the money. I mean, in my vision board, I was loaded, I was traveling all the places and there wasn’t a worry in the world.
I mean, I got the smokin’ hot husband part 😉 LOVE YOU babe, but we are currently living with my parents — while we build a house — but irregardless, you know what I mean. Life definitely doesn’t turn out how you “envisioned” it. It’s funny right? BUT I never would have thought ten years ago that I would have the most beautiful, miracle baby, after facing years of infertility. That I would have the most supportive and understanding husband and that he made me feel like the queen that I so badly wanted to feel like from high school boyfriends.
I never would have thought that I would be facing some and have faced some of the hardest challenges I honestly have ever had to face. I never would have imagined me blogging, let alone throwing some fun big events. I may not have a fancy car, big ol’ house or be loaded with money trees in the backyard, but life is good and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Family is my ultimate happiness and I have the best little family a girl could ask for.
Last week in therapy I was talking with my counselor and I was telling her, I have such a hard time just being okay with the now. Being okay with the things I have accomplished thus far. I am always looking 10 steps ahead and wanting more that I forget to enjoy the now and to look back at what I HAVE accomplished. I mean, take a minute for yourself, think about what you HAVE done. Make a list if you will. She told me to write things down, to remind myself throughout the day, WOW look at what I have done! Be proud of myself and honestly, I’m now wondering why? Why haven’t I taken the time before and done this. We’ve all done incredible things, maybe things aren’t perfect, maybe we don’t have this “glamorous” life (and let’s be honest, don’t let social media fool you — most don’t), but we have all accomplished some pretty great things. We just have to remind ourselves. We have to take a moment, write down the things that we have done and then SOAK IT IN. It’s not cockiness, it’s confidence, it’s proudness, be proud of what you’ve done, what you’ve accomplished.
So to my high school self, to that “vision board” I created, it’s gonna be even better than that. 😉