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Like y’all know, I am not really a fan of new years resolutions. I really try to work on things all year long and take one step at a time rather than well, setting myself up for failure with fifteen different goals and then exhaustion. HA! Not that, that’s exactly what’s happened in the past or anything… 😉 This year though I’m trying something different. I made year long goals, things to work on one step at a time, all year long. One “category” if you will, was Motherhood. I wanted to work on being more in the moment and specific things directly related to being a Mom. Life was just going so fast and I think I kind of just realized that last year that I need to be soaking things up and focusing more on my time with Blake. So here are my goals for this year.
- Being fully there. Something I so often find myself doing is listening and answering, but not actually listening. Blake will ask me a question and I just respond, only to realize I didn’t fully hear the question and answered wrong or just essentially “passed it off” by just answering quickly and continuing on with whatever I am doing. So baby steps, each day I’ve been trying to put down whatever I’m doing when she comes to talk to me or if I am in the middle of something that can’t wait (though most things can because well – Mom life is most important), I’ll just say, something like “Give me just a second because I want to hear what you’re saying but Mama needs to finish this really fast” then I can give her my undivided attention. Not to mention, doing this slows time down, rather than rushing an answer or decision with her, it’s given me the chance to really hear things she is saying and to soak it all in. Literally this morning, she came up to me while I was working on this and starting talking about a silly thing she thought of while she slept (AKA a dream, HA!) and honestly, I would usually half listen, laugh and keep working. But this morning I stopped, listened and it actually made my heart so happy to hear her little voice describe a dream she had. I know, I know it sounds silly, but it was just what my heart needed this morning.
- Mom Dates. Something I love that I’ve actually done quite a bit in the past, is little Mommy/daughter dates. This is something that I think is important for both of us just because I do work so much. So I am working towards implementing this 1-2 times a month. Just a little day date or night out just us two, to dinner or for ice cream or even to Target. But something that’s purely us, not an errand, not something that is rushed, a moment with just us where she can be a toddler and I can watch and soak it all in. I remember doing similar things with my Mom and they’re really good memories, so I want to start creating those for her and I as well.
- BEING OKAY WITH THE PRESENT. This is my biggest one and something I struggle with the most. I have the attitude of go, go, go so when I feel like something isn’t happening that should, I get anxious and crazy, which in turn totally affects my Mothering. SO I am trying to work on it, trying to not only be present, but be okay with what is happening. Something else that goes hand in hand with this is forgoing the mom guilt. I feel it often, especially when it comes to working and most common, when I go on a work trip. So I am working on being okay with those moments, reminding myself that I am teaching her things, things like – she can do whatever she sets her mind to and that balance is okay. It’s just a work in progress teaching myself those things. As well with getting a sitter or going to do things for myself — a reminder to myself that it’s okay, that I’m allowed to be present with myself and with my own needs.
I wrote all these things down and I try to read through them every night before bed. They’re just in a note in my phone. But this way I get the nightly reminder to start off fresh in the morning and work towards each goal, slowly but surely. The reality is I will probably never be perfect at any of them, but it’s just making the connection and putting forth an effort that counts.