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The other night I was struggling. I was feeling overwhelmed, defeated and honestly just done. I sat on the bed in tears, my plate was full, I had dealt with a SASSY, almost three year old all day (and she pushed the limits ALL day) and my husband was working late. I had just put the threenager down for bed, which was a FIGHT to say the least and I walked into a room that was a disaster, looked at my to do list and just broke down.
How in the world am I supposed to do it all? When will things get easier? Why aren’t things like so and so?
Then I started to get mad, angry, pissed at my husband (even though he did NOTHING), ticked at myself, mad at God, literally just a down a downward spiral and then came the wallowing, the comparison game and the self pity about “how hard things were”.
After a good cry sesh and a pep talk to myself, I pulled myself together and pushed forward.
A few days later I was talking with a friend about it all, hearing her same struggles and realizing and feeling all the pressure that we have on ourselves as Moms, wives, friends, sisters, daughter, employees, bosses, whatever it is – so much pressure. And the thought kind of hit me, holy cow – can we just cut ourselves a break? I went home and immediately wrote down a list, a list of everything I did that day that honestly, I didn’t think I would get done or quite honestly, was just happy that I did it.
I wrote down 6 things and it took me literally fifteen minutes to come up with those 6 things. Again because – I AM SO DANG HARD ON MYSELF. We all are, well the majority of us. We have pressure coming from every direction of what we should be, the way our lives need to be and how our kids need to act. We feel the pressure to be almost perfect in every way that we aren’t enjoying the things that are right in front of us.
So I said enough.
The reality is, do we have it that bad? Yes, we have moments are FREAKING hard, but look how blessed we are! That doesn’t mean were not going to face trials that are honestly, really bad, but that makes the moments of blessings and happiness, that much better. We should be celebrating the little victories that we have, like getting a threenager to bed in under 30 minutes or running one of the five errands we had to do that day. There is always going to be tomorrow, there is always going to be time to get the “things” done that need to be done. Social media is probably always going to be there, remember A.I.M.? Remember Myspace? It’s just evolved and if it’s not Instagram in 10 years, it’s going to be something else. We are always going to feel the pressures of what we think we “need” to be because someone else is doing so.
Let me share a little something with you though, that person you’re looking at might have a perfect house or a fancy boss Mom job, but their struggles might be something that you’re really happy with or don’t struggle with as much – like maybe they just want to be a Mom, wish they didn’t have to work or maybe they wish their husband didn’t travel so much or they didn’t travel so much. Maybe they just lost someone in their lives. You only see what one, you want to see, and two, what little parts of their lives are shown.
So just embrace you, cut yourself some friggin’ slack and let it go. I started writing three goals down every night before bed, that I want to do the next day – three things that I want to work on and get better at. Then the next night, I go through them and cross off what I did and GUESS WHAT?! If I don’t do them all, I don’t care – I add it as one of my three for the next day because guess what? It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are doing our best, that we made it through that day and we are happy, that’s what matters – our happiness, our family and the love we feel – those, those are top priority.
So here’s to celebrating our successes, our happiness and just cutting ourself some slack!